The really real housewife of Orange County

Yes my friends, these A cups are real. I did not have them enhanced, pushed up or plumped up. I have to debunk the myth that all Orange County women have fake boobs. Now that nasty business is out of the way, let me expound on the life of a real Orange County woman.

At times I have wondered what it would be like to be a reality TV star, having a camera crew follow me around all day chronicling the daily happenings of my life. It would go something like this:

I wake up at 6AM to start my day, have breakfast, walk the dog and take a shower. I then sit in front of the computer and do the paperwork for the business, call the clubs to get updates and pay the bills. I scan the emails and check up on Facebook. I then buzz around to the clubs, after I return from working at the clubs, hubby is not to far behind and we walk the dog again, feed him, go to the gym, have dinner and watch something on TV.

I have determined that I would make a horrible TV star. First off, my life is way to normal. I do not have a maid to clean the house or wash the dog. I do not have a butler to answer the phone or fetch the mail. I do have a husband who is very helpful around the house though. He opens the door for me, picks up Maverick's business and takes out the garbage. I do the laundry and pay the bills and do most of the grocery shopping. We both share the cooking though he does the dishes since that chore really, really bugs me. I do not go out to wild parties with the girls while dear hubby sits at home playing Guitar Hero.

So this means that if I had any shot at being a Reality TV Housewife, I would have to get new boobs, a car that is worth more than my house and my neighbors house and their neighbors house, I would have to pump up my lips and get botox so my face doesn't show as much expression. I would have to spend a lot of money on a fake tan because being pasty doesn't cut it in reality world. I would have to change my name to Trixie or Barbie or be named after a small country and get a dog that fits in my purse. I tried fitting our 83 pound German Shep. in one and I now need a new purse. I think it would cost to much money to turn myself into those women so I will stick with the way that I am....blissfully normal or abnormal depending on what point of view you take.

Who is that blonde?

Ever since I could remember, I have been a camera hog. I will admit in my advanced years, I haven't leaned in that direction, though it won't take much for me to head that way again. Since I was a very shy kid, being on stage was a way for me to "not be me." I could take on any persona and I did with gusto, from a grumpy old lady to a singing hill billy. If there was a camera within spitting distance, I would put on my brightest smile and get in that picture no matter who was taking it. I was even known by a few to lean into someones vacation photos at Disneyland and sneak away without them knowing. To this day, those tourists are probably wondering who that dumb blonde in the photo is. You see, blonde hair sticks out in a photo full of dark haired tourists. Ahhh, to be young again.

I was in many plays when I was younger and I made it a point during the staging part of the production to perfectly align myself so I was front and center at all times. I am sneaky like that. Later when I was doing extra work, once again, my camera hog persona came into play. The directors used to laugh and let me know that I couldn't be in all the shots for continuity sake. Blast those people who pay attention to detail, such a buzz kill.

Not a time goes by when I watch a movie or TV show and think of what could have been. This is a path that many try to travel but end up having to choose another way. My "normal" upbringing has led me to choose the safe path that included getting my college degree and getting a grown up job. In case you are wondering, Theater was one of my many many degrees of choice. Maybe I should have tried getting in the back door by being a screenwriter and writing the perfect character that only a certain blonde haired someone could have done. Ugh, why didn't I think of that sooner! This imagination of mine is nothing but trouble!

I think they need me on set, so I must go. (I am just practicing that line in case Spielberg calls me up!!!) Until next time, make today a good one!!

Where to begin

Who the hell said we have to grow up, get a grown up job and act like a grown up? I think that person had some serious issues and needs to talk with someone about their not so sunny disposition or maybe I am the one who needs to talk to somone, which is probably more like it. I believe that blogging is much less expensive than therapy anyway, so here ya go.

I grew up in a pretty normal household with ma, pa and the older brother. We had the dog and white picket fence and the kids in the neighborhood to play with after school. Mom and dad encouraged us to use our imagination and be creative, though mom was a bit scared of things that could cause bodily injury. (She didn't want me to play soccer for fear of the ball hitting my head and giving me brain damage..I kid you not) A very ideal upbringing to be sure, maybe that is where things took a wrong turn. My over active imagination has lead to my fear of clowns and my need to always look for something new to explore. Don't laugh, because I am not the only one with clown-a-phobia.

The need to explore new things led me to changing my major in college 9 times in a three year span and ending up with a degree in communications. I now have the need to go back to get more advanced degrees because I am a sick puppy who would enjoy nothing more than being a professional student. It took me awhile but I have found my calling in the fitness industry though I am still finding my niche in said industry. I have many ideas about what I should do but that darn imagination comes and rears his head again and turns me down another path. I think I need an imagination guillotine.

Now that you know a little more about me, I shall be expanding on the ever changing enigma that is my mind. If I offend anyone in my future posts, oh well, I can't control the flood of thoughts that are in my overworked brain. Thank you for being my therapy partner.

Until next time, make today a good one.