The really real housewife of Orange County

Yes my friends, these A cups are real. I did not have them enhanced, pushed up or plumped up. I have to debunk the myth that all Orange County women have fake boobs. Now that nasty business is out of the way, let me expound on the life of a real Orange County woman.

At times I have wondered what it would be like to be a reality TV star, having a camera crew follow me around all day chronicling the daily happenings of my life. It would go something like this:

I wake up at 6AM to start my day, have breakfast, walk the dog and take a shower. I then sit in front of the computer and do the paperwork for the business, call the clubs to get updates and pay the bills. I scan the emails and check up on Facebook. I then buzz around to the clubs, after I return from working at the clubs, hubby is not to far behind and we walk the dog again, feed him, go to the gym, have dinner and watch something on TV.

I have determined that I would make a horrible TV star. First off, my life is way to normal. I do not have a maid to clean the house or wash the dog. I do not have a butler to answer the phone or fetch the mail. I do have a husband who is very helpful around the house though. He opens the door for me, picks up Maverick's business and takes out the garbage. I do the laundry and pay the bills and do most of the grocery shopping. We both share the cooking though he does the dishes since that chore really, really bugs me. I do not go out to wild parties with the girls while dear hubby sits at home playing Guitar Hero.

So this means that if I had any shot at being a Reality TV Housewife, I would have to get new boobs, a car that is worth more than my house and my neighbors house and their neighbors house, I would have to pump up my lips and get botox so my face doesn't show as much expression. I would have to spend a lot of money on a fake tan because being pasty doesn't cut it in reality world. I would have to change my name to Trixie or Barbie or be named after a small country and get a dog that fits in my purse. I tried fitting our 83 pound German Shep. in one and I now need a new purse. I think it would cost to much money to turn myself into those women so I will stick with the way that I am....blissfully normal or abnormal depending on what point of view you take.